Hey kids,
I saw this little image today and wanted to share it with you:
Did you know that EVERYONE puts limits on themselves and what they think they’re capable of? EVERYONE. You, me, all of us. It’s part of being human.
But, the other part of being human is the ability to recognize that you’re doing it. And most people never do this part.
Every bit of feedback you hear about your behavior while you are growing up (right now) is something that you file away into the crevices of your mind and use as part of your internal compass as to who you are and what you’re capable of.
A lot of this feedback comes directly from Mom and I. Most of it, I hope, is healthy and good and is something that makes you believe in yourself.
But, some of it, inevitably, is something that could be used as a self-limiter.
Like when we are constantly reaming on you for your room or the bathroom being an absolute dumpster fire disaster. (truth)
This is something you might easily get engrained in your psyche. That you are just messy people, not capable of being neat and organized.
But hopefully, as you grow up, you realize you are making a choice to live like slobs. This is not who you are and does not have to be that way. It is your choice.
If you want to be neat and organized, then simply take a few extra minutes and tidy up your room. Or, wipe down the countertop in the bathroom.
Simple.
It’s a choice.
Don’t ever let anything mom or I (or anyone) say define limits for you. With every single thing in your life, ultimately, YOU get to decide.
Your choice:
- Good grades or bad
- Full effort in sports or just kinda show up
- Good friend who listens and cares or one who blows through friend after friend because you suck and being a good freind
- Original personality or follower
- Get pregnant (or knock someone up, Jack) at a young age and before you’re married OR listen to what mom and I tell you and WAIT.
- Try drugs or don’t
- Be relentless in your pursuit of a career that makes you happy or just find a job that pays the bills
- Republican or Democrat. (only one right choice here if you enjoy the freedom of choice that this entire post is based upon).
- etc
You decide everything for yourself.
So if you ever find yourself in whine mode about something and you’re saying “It’s just who I am,” just remember, YOU are choosing that state of things. If you want it to be different then start deciding differently.
Whatever the case, stop doing whatever it is that made you get to that point and start doing the opposite.
If you think that you suck at a sport and will never be any good then you have 2 choices.
1. Quit (and maybe this is the wise choice) and find somewhere to put your time that you feel like you can become good and enjoy doing.
2. Cast aside the doubting thoughts, research “how average people get good at _______” and dedicate time every day to doing those things.
If, after 6 months, you’ve seen no progress, then maybe hang it up and move on.
But, my guess is that if you dedicate 6 months to working every day at getting better at something (doesn’t matter what) you’ll be better than 90% of people at it. And you’ll notice an epic difference from day one to end of month 6.
Most people will never do that though.
Most people shoot or dribble a basketball for the first time ever and look foolishly clumsy. Because they are. Because they’ve never done it. They label themselves as someone who can’t play ball. And that’s it. End of story.
But if that same someone said, “Well, I sure do suck at basketball. I wonder how good I can get over the next 6 months?”
And then they started researching how to get better. They hire a coach. They go to some camps. They do drills at home morning and night.
They spend 6 months and give every spare waking moment to getting better at basketball.
At the end of those 6 months, there’s a chance they still kinda suck. But, there’s almost no chance they suck as bad as when they first began. And they are probably night and day ahead of where they were at the start.
This applies to anything. Not just sports.
Academics. Social skills. Whatever.
You can get better at pretty much anything you want if you just decide that you’re going to do it.
And that starts with not allowing others or yourself to box you in.
Got it?
Good.
That’s all I’ve got for today.
Love, Dad
PS – I just thought of an example.
I remember my first attempt at building something. It was a 12″ x 12″ x 12″ box (roughly speaking) with a slot on top for putting money inside of. I wanted to build a box that I could not open so that I would save money that I couldn’t easily access.
It was a very simple box to make, BUT… you should have seen this thing. What a joke. I remember looking at it and thinking, “Wow! I absolutely suck at making things.”
And the problem is, that’s where most people stop. They think, “I suck!” And that’s it.
Well, I was about 11 years old and had never built anything before. So, of course I sucked at it. What was I expecting?
Now, 30 years later, I’ve built A LOT of stuff and I’m pretty damn good at building whatever it is needs built.
But only because I slogged my way through sucking at it a lot of times first.
My next thing wasn’t too pretty either. Or the next. Or the next. But, eventually, I started getting the hang of things. And, soon enough I went from novice to semi-pro.
How? Well, a combination of hanging around in the shop watching how others built stuff and sitting at home at night and watching hours and hours of youtube videos about woodworking and how things get made.
You can do this too. For anything. Youtube and books can be your coach concerning pretty much anything you can think of.
So if someone tells you suck (even though it might be true… at THAT moment) or you just think this about yourself, just remember to think, “only for right now”.
